Top 100 Funny Whatsapp Jokes Collection

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Funny Whatsapp Jokes

boy: mom aaj khane me kya bnaya hai…
mom: baigan ki sabji…
boy: kya mom har bar baigan ki sabji…
mom: ye sab najkhre apni bivi ke samne karna….tab to muh se ik shabad nhi niklega jo vo banaygi chup chap khaloge…!!
boy:kkk lao  baigan hi khata hu…
  after marriage……….
boy: aaj khane me kya banna hai darling..
wife: baigan ki sabzi..!!
boy: kya??  baigan ki sabzi…
wife: ye nakhre na apni maa k samne kiya karo tab to kuch ni bolte   …
boy:  acha lao baigan ki sabzi
bechare ladke…😝

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

This is a good one..
A Boss Asks his Employee: “Do you believe that
there is Life After Death?”.
Employee: “Certainly not, there’s no proof of it”.
Boss: “Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your cousin’s funeral, he came here looking for you.” …

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

If u want to have some extra excitement during a roller coaster ride, carry few nuts n bolts wid u..
Let d coaster reach d max height..
Den tap d person infrnt of u n say “ye aapki seat se nikle hai”

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

Good Morning Whatsapp Message

The sun may light up the earth but my life is lit up by friends like you.

Good morning.

Good Morning Whatsapp Message

Good Morning, My Dear..
May You Wake Up Into A Beautiful Day
With A Beautiful Smile,
New Hopes And Joy In Abundance..

Have A Nice Day..

Good Morning Whatsapp Message

Every Morning

I Thank Heavenly Father, for Loving me enough to Bless me with Answered Prayers and for Loving me enough to Protect me for unanswered prayers!!!

GOOD MORNING

Good Morning Whatsapp Message

You Feel The Soft Little Hands Lying On Your Skin.
The Bubbling Sounds Of The Sweet Little Angels
Has Filled Up Your Ears.
What A Great Day To Start Ahead,
Awaken By The Children.

Have a Wonderful Morning!

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

New Diseases of Whatsapp users…..
1.Wrong post in wrong group syndrome
2.Non-reading earlier post dystrophy
3. Repeated posting neurosis
4. Late replying psychosis
5. Non-immune religionitis
6. Sudden disappearancitis.

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

A Sick Leave letter from Pasha Bhai to his Manager
Dear Manager Saheb
Sending you this leave  letter
I will  not come  as my  eyes have come  ‘  if I come with  my  eyes coming  then  your eyes  will come  & you will not come  as  then  Still   if you  come with  your  coming  eyes all eyes  will come  & all  will not  come  . so  I will  not come   and all  will  come .  I  will come  back  when  my  coming eyes  will  go & all will  come  without their eyes coming
Yours  Sincerely
Pasaha Bhai na Jai Ambe…

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

Apple iPhone7 in India
Approx Rs.65k.
Other option
Bangkok return ticket: 21k
Stay:10k
Massage:3K
Shopping: 14k
Savings: 17K
Come back to India and buy Xiaomi mi3, MOTO G,  at 13k
#YouAreWelcome
You still have 4k for friends

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

One day Jonson an ✈aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the pilots’ cockpit when he saw a book entitled “How to fly an aeroplane✈ for beginners. Volume One”.
He opened the first page which said, “To start the engine, press the red button.”.  He did so and the airplane engine started.
He was happy and opened the next page. “To set airplane moving press the blue button.”
He did so and the ✈aeroplane started moving at an amazing speed.
He wanted to fly so he opened the third page which read, “To let the aeroplane fly, please press the green button.”
He did this and the plane started to ✈✈✈fly.
He was excited!!!!!!
After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land so he decided to go to the fourth page.
He fainted after reading the instructions…….
The fourth page read, “To learn how to land, please purchase Volume Two at the nearest bookshop!!!!

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

If Electrical Engineers make Hindi films, The
names will be like this :- *
Current Ho Na Ho* *
Jaanam Supply karo* *
Circuit wale Inductor Lejayenge* *
Kabhi AC Kabhi DC* *
Hamara IC Aap ke Paas He* *
Fuse Lagaya to Darna Kya* *
Capacitor No.1* *
Hum Signal De Chuke Sanam* *
Fuse To Udna Hi Tha*

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

A couple had a fight
Husband : I feel like informing everybody that u are useless!!
Wife : Rehne do…I will myself inform everybody that I am used less…

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

Died Laughing….
100 metre ki race ho rahi thi…
Referee said ‘1,2,3 GO!’…
Everybody started running except Alia bhatt.
Referee – y r u not running…?
Alia – My number is 4

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

SBI Bank: Humara bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai….
Alia bhat:
Agar dene mein interest hi nahi hai to kyu de rahe ho? Nahi chahiye….

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied..
FRENCH : I think I dont smoke (died)
AMERICAN : I think I love my wife (died)
ALIA BHATT: I think.. (died)

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

Alia bhatt and varun dhawan are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.
Alia – what should we do now?
Varun- we’ll take 50:50.
Alia- what about the remaining 900?

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

Alia Bhatt: Let’s go for movie .
Varun: Shit, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment today..
Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it,Tell him you’re sick.

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

 Alia reading newspaper..
News:
“Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump”
Aalia comments:
Idiot !!
Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping..!!!

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

School☻☞ apni to pathshala masti ki pathshala……
Tuition☻☞idhr chala mai udhr chala Jane kaha mai kidhr chala……
Maths☻☞ajeeb daastan h ye kaha shru kaha khatam…….
Exam☻☞zahreeli raate ninde ud jati h……..
Result☻☞dhk dhk krne laga o mora jiyara drne laga…….
Pass☻☞aaj mai uper aasma niche aaj mai aage zamana peechhe…..
Fail☻☞chhan se jo tute koi sapna jag suna suna lage………

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

Hindi songs and their MEDICAL INTERPRETATIONS
Jiya Jale jaan jale,
Raat bhar dhuan chale
-FEVER
Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi
-HEART ATTACK
Suhani raat dhal chuki …naa jaane tum kab aoge
-CONSTIPATION
Bidi jalayle jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag he
-ACIDITY
Tujhme rab dikhta hai ..yaara main kya karoo
-CATARACT
Tuje yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kahna
-ALZHEIMER’S
Mann dole mera tann dole
-VERTIGO
Tip tip barsa paani,
paani ne aag lagayee
-URINARY INFECTION
Dil Dhadak Dhadak ke keh raha he..
-HYPERTENSION
Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen par nahi padte mere..
-CORN ON FEET
Haay re
haay Neend nahin aaye..
-INSOMNIA
Batana bi nahi aata, Chupana bi nahi aata..
-PILES
And Above All
Lagi Aaj Saawan ki phir woh Zadi he..
-LOOSE MOTION

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

An American, a Japanese and a Chinese went for a hike one day.
It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted.
When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their “freedom.”
As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from town appeared.
Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and the Japanese quickly used their hands to cover their privates.
But the Chinese covered his face and the trio ran for cover.
After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the
American and the Japanese asked the Chinese why he covered his face rather than his private part.
The Chinese replied, “I don’t know about you……. but in my country,it’s the face that people recognise !!!

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

My mom should get awarded for being sarcastic.
Me- mumma woh subah bengan ki sabzi mein
namak thoda jyada ho gya tha.
Mom- nahi beta, sabzi namak ki thi galati se usme
bengan girr gya hoga.
Me-:(

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

Whatsapp chat of bollywood..
Katrina- hii
Priyanka- bol,
Katrina- lets go london in weekend✈
Kareena- aa gai aukaat mei sali, foriegner ki bachi
Katrina-
Deepika-tu hi jaa, aur ranbir ka picha chod de
Priyanka-kareena ko kaun add kiya
Saif- mei kiya, kya kar legi
Sahid- gussa mat kar priyanka
Priyanka- tu chup reh kareena k chamche
Kareena- jalo mat barabari karo
Sahid- saif teri toh mei pungi bha junga
Saif left.
Priyanka left.
Srk- mujhe jungli billi bahut pasand hai
Salman- toh jungle mei reh harami
Aamir- mannat mere naam kar dena bhai
Srk-chup be bikhari
Katrina- koi london chalega
Anushka- mei chalu☺
Deepika- chii anu, tu iske sath jaegi
Katrina-
89999409000 joined
Anushka- ye kaun hai
Salman- virat kohli
Anushka left.
Salman was removed.
Akshay- Srk tu toh india chod de, modi pm ban gaya hai
Srk- haa bhai pakistan jaa ra hu
Aamir- acha hai, tera baap bhi toh waha rehta hai na
Srk-
Akshay-lol
Srk left.
Katrina- koi london chalra kya
Rajpal yadav- mei chalne k liye ready hu
Katrina-
Johny lever- mei b chalta hu
Paresh lawal- aae raju, meri bhi ticket karwa
Katrina left.
Akshay- raju apne baap ko bolna
Kareena- raju.. Hehe.. Nic 1 paresh ji
Twinkle- tera baap hai na paresh sali
Ranbir- meri behen ko koi kuch nai bolega
Deepika- i love u ranbir
Ranbir- are yar, ye toh piche hi pad gai
Deepika left.
Vidya balan- hello every1
Kareena- aunty aa gai,bhago bhago..
Kareena left.
Aamir left.
Ranbir left.
Rajpal yadav left.
Paresh rawal left.
Vidya-

Funny Whatsapp Jokes

Who is a Girl ???
A Girl is the most Beautiful part of God’s creation.
She starts compromising at a very tender age.
She sacrifices her chocolates for her brother.
Later she sacrifices her love for just a smile on her parents face.
Then After Marriage
.
.
.
.
.
She takes revenge of all things from her Husband

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